When A Crochet Conversation Goes Weird in Text…

First of, let me give you a disclaimer. Despite what you may read below…my Mom and I ARE fairly sane… honestly, we are.  We used to do what she calls progressive stories when we lived in Ireland when I was younger. This definitely shows me where I get my sense of humor and imagination. From my Mom!


Tonight we were talking about a few things in text messages such as the blanket that I’m working on trying to finish tonight that is for Paradise Animal Rescue’s fundraiser.


And I asked my Mom: Ever done reverse sc?


The conversation went odd from there:

Mom: Yep I have, once u figure it out its pretty cool lookin

Me: I tried it once and couldn’t wrap my brain around how to do it.

Mom: Work to the right not left

Me:Yeah I know 😛

Mom: Hey! A birdy will poop on your tongue if u keep sticking it out!

Me: I’m inside. No birds in here!

Mom: Well one might come down ur chimney and poop on it.

Me: Glass over fireplace. Birdie can’t come through

Mom: Ahh you forgot the magic birds-so there!

Me: Magic birds don’t eat so they don’t poop!

Mom: There are magic sooper pooper birds. The air makes the poop.

Me: We have an anti-air protection bubble layer over the house. They can’t get through it cuz they would die from lack of air.

Mom: They carry their own oxygen and can pierce all house domes or bubbles.

Me: Penny and Pixie are trained super soldiers and can snatch magic sooper pooper birds out of the air and destroy them before they can even think of pooping.

Mom: Not when the magic sooper poopers can b invisible to special trained cats. They can sooper poop on the cats n it turns to concrete in case the spell wears off the the cats cant get em.

Me: Psycho already implemented a special chip in Penny and Pixie that allows them to see invisible sooper pooper birds and has a chemical that dissolves concrete sooper poop

Mom: Not new n improved supersooper poop 2.0. Just invented n tested 30 seconds ago. The chip is now obsolete.

Me: Psycho hacked the system. She already counteracted the new improved supersooper poop 2.0

Mom: The sooper poopers have another secret diversion weapon that no cats can resist – mighty mice!

Me: Midnight the stealth porch cat spent years developing techniques to resist mighty mice.

Mom: Again these come down the chimney thereby bypassing the mighty porch cat. Yep the come in on the backs of the sooper poopers.

Me: Mighty porch cat uses the porch roof to get to the chimney. And taught the girls inside the resistance techniques

Mom: Resistance is futile! They can outfly any old magic porch cat with their eyes closed and all 4 wings tied behind their backs.

Me: Reverse gravity field prevents the birds from being able to land. Forces them higher and higher in the sky

Mom: Until the hit the thermal porthole n whiz right down the chimney.

Me: The chimney shoots out ice and freezing rain. Fizzling out the thermal porthole

Mom: Not on leapyear day.

Me: Leap year day is the day where all magic ceases because the day shouldn’t exist. So the magic sooper pooper birds are grounded

Mom: Or so youve been led to believe thereby increasing the surprise shock n awe factor when they poop on ur tongue. Hahaha

Me: Nope. My machine in the basement makes sure the magic is stopped on leapyear day

Mom: The one i vandalized and took the thing that makes it magic and is the only one and cant b reproduced so it wont work but u wont know it wont work til u get sooper pooped? Is that the machine u r talking about?

Me: Nope. That’s the decoy machine that you vandalized.

Mom: Lol! Very smart but that was really the decoy decoy u thought u saved!

Me: The real machine is somewhere you don’t even know about.

Mom: But im a mom i know everything!

Me: Not this time!

Mom: Hahaha thats what u think. Guess who controls the whole world. Me n my sooper poopers! Hahahahaha…

Me: My machine is on another world and controls your world!

Mom: We should print this silly conversation.

Me: I was thinking the same thing lol. We are crazy. At least I know where I get it from!

Mom: But my machine controls the entire known universe.

Me: The world my machine is on isn’t in the known universe!


10 thoughts on “When A Crochet Conversation Goes Weird in Text…

    • Mom and I have a tendency to let our minds wander down the other paths during a conversation in text. Last night she was trying to convince me to box up my new yarn and drop it off. Somehow we ended up with a yarn-snob thieving cat who patrols my yard watching for yarn. Mom tried to convince me to do a skein sacrifice but I didn’t want to get in trouble with the Yarn Protection Services.

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